i miss us

I miss us being close. There are opps are spying on rotation trying to see why I want you to be mine. I have avoided you to avoid being rejected, but I am ready to be accountable. I may have over thought things but that is because I felt unlucky. Now I feel like the path is clearer and you have the nerve to be healing and dont want me around. I want to be surrounded by you. You make the past more real and the future more clear. All the trauma in my life shaped me into the person who I am, but time waits for noone and my time has been running out. The joy I get from being with you, around you keeps reminding me how beautiful life is. I want to rush in, but I have to closeout some things so there are no issues in our future. You have this steel in you that allows you to own your own shit and you heal. You have healed from your traumas and fought your demons. I hate that I fucked around and I have found out I am not happy without you. What do you want to from me because i am willing to do anything to bring balance to our connection. I am closing down all connections that causes our connection to be insecure. I loved people in the past who onlyy set out to keep me bound, but not as my authentic self. I am greatful that you see me.

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