I'm stingy, I'm selfish

I want Everyone to know your mine. I am fighting my demons to get to you. I couldn't figure out why you thought I would grow up for you and  I refused to grow for myself but i see now you wanted me to grow for me. You really just wanted the best for me.  You are actually kinder than I gave you credit for. I'm moving to be closer to you. I am baffled on how you understand me when no one else does. I don't know if I'm gonna get it right this life time and it hurts so bad!! I don't feel good enough for you. I am a societal menace and I believe I dont owe apologies to anyone. I know you are my sun and I may not say it in the most pc or cultured way. I might never admit it, but I miss us being close. Will you let me put you on a throne? I know I'm flakey and I have left you hanging before, but I finally understand you are the total package. 

I know you are scared to risk it all but i need you to ask yourself what do you want? I hope its me.  My heart is fragile I won't even lie about it. You have the ability to break me and I wouldn't be able to heal from it. I don't think I know how to fix it if I hurt you, but I know you would teach me and I like that. 

I want to jump in so bad!!! You make me feel like a nervous teenager. 

The person I am dealing with has a relationship outside of me and that is how I am going to get out of this toxic relationship.  Right now I'm stuck and pissed cuz it feels like the more you heal the faster you are getting away from me. I hate that because you help me laugh when I want to cry. Can you just change how you see me? I know you are mine and its only gonna be a short time before we are together.  


 Angel Number: 808,1551,911,140,300,3377



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