Divine Masculines female elder (sister,mother,aunt,or grandmother) got something to say to Divine Masculine

Maybe I just want you to show me your focused. Your not listening to me anymore becuase I steered you toward Karmic partners. You found a extra ordinary love and i convinced you to walk away from it. I wanted a connection like you found. I wanted to be as happy as your feminine was and I hated her for finding that joy in my chikd. I know when you figure this all out you will walk away. You will recognize my jealousy and envy caused stumbling blocks in yor life. I abused you for not being my divine masculine and being better to this divine feminine then most men treat any women. I understand that you see she kept me close until she could safely pull away. I figure she finally felt strong enough. She told me about my gossiping ways I didnt understand she clearly understood my actions and reasoning. I want to heal things if you both will allow me. I dont wnat to lose you. I know i have to learn to keep my hands out your pockect its been selfish of me and encouraging you to neglect the divine feminine was against cosmic law. I know i have a lot to make up for. I can't bare to see your face right now. Your life is chaotic and i am no refuge of safety for you. I have proven to you i will put others before you. I am fighting demons i thought i would never have to face. I was so confident in my actions. I wish we go back to when you fully trusted me!! I was supposed to teach you to flourish in the world instead I taught you to filter it thru me and to keep you bound to me. I never let you figure out if you could stand a storm unless i wanted to punish you. So you was left toolless and the world raised you. The Universe has been dealing with me harshly for mistreating the gift you was supposed to be to me. I hope you arent reciving any messages about me the shame is already to much to bare. I know you are though becuase you have gotten closer with Spirit. I wish i knew if you still cared for me right now it doesnt seem so. I left but I am coming back to be close to you. I am the culprit for alot of your woes and the ones i had no parts of I could have supported you with less strings sttached.