Karmic Masculine to Divine Masculine

I dont want to tell you this but I look up to you. I eny you. She really loves ypu like die for you loves you. I have secrets I don't want the Divine Feminine to know, but you tell her all your secrets. I'm trying to copy your energy so I can get her back before you manage to step to the plate. I made a lot of mistakes. I thought how she felt about me was funny. Nobody saw how i broke her down but i did what no one but you could before. Why can't I have her? You can find others who are close to her I can't attract similiar energies. I stumbled upon the gift she is. I thought she was like me. Shes better. I want personal connections that feel like what I had with her. I wish you would just leave her so I can come in and pick up the pieces. I lied so much so I figured if i dropped all my truths on her now she will be so happy she will forgive me but she wont even glance at me if you are coming. I won't even blame you I will praise you to her tell her how lucky I am you walked away. I want to comfort her and be her hero. Just leave and dont come back. I know you don't want to leave but it would be best for all. I'm what she knows your still a unknowable what she knows about you is all surface I came is a as a red flag. I want to control her, i'm becoming obsessive, I don't know what to do without her. All the negative energy I have sent her way keeps returning worse then what I can handle. It gets worse when i ... The point is I see how happy she is I know its because of you. Her muse is back her light and none of us make her glow like that she fucking shines man...man dont fuck it up.