You are a bright light

All the things you said running thru my head has me feeling I am not enough. You deserve more than I can give emotionally, finanancially,mentally and even physically. I have been sexually unwise and I have a STD/STI( sexually transmitted demon or incubus). I am connected to too many people sexually and I do not how to release those bonds. I like having so many people wanting me. I feel loved having so many people fighting for my attention. I didn't regonize real love. I feel if you love me you will keep doing for me. When you stop you don't love me. I know you have to live your life and being up my ass isn't part of your whole day. I promise you I am not closed off. I am just scared of you seeing to much or figuring out I am a fraud. I ran away in November because its just to much emotions to handle. I thought kepping things sexual was going to protect my heart, but I just fell even harder for you. I feel if I come forward to fast you will lose sight of what you are doing. I'm so sorry it seems like I am holding back out of spite. I am trying to protect our future. I let to many things get in the way of our connection and my connection with myself. I had to learn how to heal my soul. I know this time I will not fail. I know this time things are different I am being divinely guided so I can't fuck this up. We can do so much together. You bring so much light to my dark world. You are royalty. Knowing you are sad ruins my day. All I want to do is make you happy. I know you have every right to be angry at how long eveything is taking, but its going to be worth it in the long run.

. Without you I'd still be dead inside.