Pisces

I deserve to punished. I fumbled and lost. I promised you this lifetime i would do right by you. Marry you and make you ridiculously happy. I messed up in one timeline looking at my doopleganger miserable because the woman he loved he mocked and betrayed and here i am literally doing the same thing. From the amount of kids to the relationship fumbles I'm mirroring them and I don't know how to stop. I hate the fucking matrix. I knew from the first moment i saw you i wanted you. I made you chase me and I intentionally kept my distance. I figured your crush on me would carry us til i got bored with you. I never got bored you kept changing and becoming more and more fascinating, You did right inleaving me alone and not chasing me. I was cheating. I know it sounds crazy but i wanted a little girl with you. I don't have daughters and i just knew we would have a goregous talented little girl. I never told you but you had my heart... you still do. I want to give you all the love ikept from you. Iwant to rub your back when your cramping or just because. All iwant to do is grow old with you now that I have lost you. YOu was like this secret Ididn't want anyone knowing about but Ididn't get that everyone knew they just didn't want me with you. They rather you be with that insensitive prick verses me and i get it at least he tried to make you eel good. I did nothing to brighten your spirit if anything I undermined you and attacked you for just beinf your beautiufl siritred self I was so jealous. Now I amso proud. Look at you and I had the nerve to say you wasn't ambitious. I think you just didnt have a direction to aim your awesomeness until i tried to crush your spirit. I tried to take that freedom you found in expression becuase i felt left out. I was a fake and you figured it out and told the world. Called me out and still gave me kindness and i shitted ony our forgiveness. I want to come make amends. Maybe even finally be froends. Will you at least let me apologze?/