who the hell did i marry?

You are getting a taste of your own medicine. This is a lesson and once you learn it the happiness you sought will be just around the corner. Accepting your truth so it can no longer be weaponized against you. Do not let your past addictions keep you shackled to this situation. Go to where you can find peace and regroup if you need to, but its time to face this situation head on so you canfinally be happy. You have declared if they can't let you be happy they need to leave you alone. You know you cannot do the healing you need alone but you sure as hell can't do it in a unsafe enviroment. You need T.L.C. You want reasssurance that you are loed and wanted. Not lusted, not seen as a finacial advantaged just wanted. You want to be seen for the assest you truly are not as a burden. You want to learn your talents and you want the space to foster them to see if you can make something great and yours out of them. This isn't something you want in the future you want this now. You pray at night for the answers they are coming. You feel so stripped down and yet closer to Source then. You hope that love doesn't equal finances. That your connection is more then just fleshly attaraction. You want to be in a connection that is thriving. You gave up a lot for something that looks to be going nowhere fast.You feel like you are a fraud because you thought you had stepped in knowing everything only to be blindsided and questioning alot. You want answsers and you willnot rest until you have them. You want to be where is no more tears just laughter and genuine love. Jealousy and drama does not belong in a connectionit damages the foundation until there is nothing left to stand on.