aquarius

I learned to stop listening to others opinion of myself. I had to learn how to love me for me not how others accepted me. I had to see my brillance in the dark of others negativity. I had to see that i did not had to be a liar, cheater, deciever, or heartbreaker in order to enjoy life when that is what was presented as the ideal path to take. Now no one has anything to say because how can they judge a path they fear going down? Embracing my sacral energy I have healed in ways I never knew I needed. Regardless like Ginuwine says I am the same ole G. I am starting a new legacy and am loving working on its foundation. No longer hiding my gifts I am embracing the changes in my life. I have walked away from a lot of connections I thought i had to fight for. I cannot fight others demons for them though I sure as hell tried. Now its time to dream and not everyone will dream with me nor decide to help me make my dreams come true and thats ok its not meant to be everyones reality. Moving on staying the fuck away from Hobosexuals' if you can't plant you cant benefit from the fuit. Words flowery as they maybe will never outweigh action. Anyone new will unfourtunately have to step to a thicker line and they will be glad about it. They will jump thru fire to be with me and that is what I deserve. No more fake relationships regardless if both parties were statisfied. No more feeling like being emotoinally R. Kellyied because of the connections available. All those years looking for fufillment are at a end. Love and affection is on its way. I feel blessed when once i felt like a loser. I have grown more in the way I see connections. I get the layers and nuance in a perspective i used to ignore. I now accept emotional logic as important to context and its broaden the way i view everything now. I am no longer shattered. I am fluid in my balance. Who cares if no one but me is happy with my endeavors? Living for others can kill you. Mental and physical health have to be a first person view point or it will never stick. So with that said I had to turn my sight inward so I could begin healing. Repressing myself to soothe others egos is out the window along with fearing offending. My very presence offends so much  why should i care if my words make it worse? The ones who could see me still try to come back so I guess I aint that bad. I am learning to be more emotional. Getting in touch with the feminine part of your brain should be a inside out sequel. There are a few connections I am still broken up about. I invested a lot and got little or no return from them. Others im running full out away from and I'm being chased becuase my happiness is secondary to these self centered peoples need to baby themselves in my energy. Sometimes it hurt feeling like peoples lucky rabbits foot. Thank goodness those days are behind me. I have learned to lean on the Universe and I havent been dropped yet. Each new leaf the tree that is my life blossoms I get more excited. I am awesome and i just get better. I am so thankful for being unique. I got everything I need to be happy right here inmy soul and eachnew discovery just adds to the richness of my soul and my gratitude cuz who woulda thunk?? I didn't becuase it was just things were but now those things are talents. look at God and the mysterious wonders that people are. I am courting the old me to make the pefect new me got to get the present with the past or the future might look wonky. Relearnig myself with a healthier outlook is not a job for the birds. You cannot and i reapeat you cannot fly thru getting to know yourself. That is how you get manipulated and attacked. Knowing the difference between your sacral chakra being closed and your kundalani awakening is important. I see abundance, love and happiness on the horizon. Partnership, community and family all waiting for me to finish this level and ease on down the road and guess what I am am not bringing any loads!!!