Aries

I don't want to be numb anymore. I want to be wonderful, independent, intelligent, righteous and determinded. I want to take chances. I don't want to be stuck in the same postion for the rest of my life. I don't want to keep feeling this way either. I keep saying Iwant to leave but what it really is want someone anyone to ask me to stay. Noone wants me around. My friendships and superficial and my family connections are nonexistent. I know I am the total package why don't I feel that way? I feel like life is fucking me raw and i didn't even get lunch. I want a partner in life not a liability so I have to learn to be a partner. I am defeating my addictions but its a lonely struggle. I am working on my soul. I owe myself a healed futuresince my past was more broken then i understood. I don't want to keep day dreaming of dreams of old i want to create a future. I am learning to be grateful insted of taking life for granted. I am learning to laugh instead of scream. I am realizing connections i held on so tightly to werent for my highest good. I am striving to hold on to those who will keep me from drowning. I just want to be anywhere, but in my skin. Noones journey is more important then mine. I have to sacrifice for me when before I sacrificed for status. This path is not easy but I will be healed, I will grow.