capricorn

Ok I've stepped away from the ledge...now what? Ok I need to work onmyself. I don't want to its hard, its scary its alot. I rather blame others and just be angry. I can't face the hurt!! I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have. I am stopping though. Its just not worth the trouble. I want God like experience so I need to change my perspective and my behavior as well. I want to love myself for real. I need help. I want to have people i can really lean on. I want people to want to be like me. I want real love. I want to learn how to take the high road. I want to stop going into connections that prevent me from being my best. I see that i cannot be in intimate connections if i won't let my guards down. There is a grandparent angel watching over me though and i appreciate that. I am seeking wisdom so I can then pass it on as well. I want to be the type of person people lean on. In the past I have been the enemy with glee. I see now I need healing. I have syopped reaching out to thoe who mean me ill. I no longer fear misding out. I understand not everything I want should be mine. I see now I am all I need. I'm trying to stop sralking people to get info to have control. Somehow the connections in my life became the fulcrum for my change. I am finally getting sleep. I see what was causing my emptiness and I endeavour to heal myself. I feel the Universe has me on a timelimit for healing. I have to get started. I am not prgant or creating anything new I have to focus in me and just right now. If I dont heal I will keep hurting people. I cant keep causing problems. Yoga, running or even meditation is somethig i need to focus on. I can't come into the prsesnce of the healed until i face my shadow.