Gemini

I didn't imagine my future beyond 25 so I feel as if i am just living life aimlessly. I feel alone in the world since you deserted me. I want to kiss your ass to get you to come back but my pride wont let me. I have not been treated fairly by you. I thought by now you wold show me more desire to connet by now. I just want to love you. I'll tell you to stay away but I'll keep the door open. I know you are not my soulmate I just don't feel brave enough to let you go. You are not healed either but you are low key scaring me because you dont seem to be worried about yourself. Its like you dont see the danger you place yourself in. I am also jealous you are spreading yourself in every diretion but this one. You seem ok not connected to me. That hurts so much. I broke down my boundaries for you. Now I am trapped in some toxic habits trying to bury myself so I can't feel the pain. I miss how easy you was to be myself around. You loved every part of me. Your out there living life and you left me in the dark. I choose to seek the light without you. I have to let go of the ast and heal.b I cant keep staying in my memories. You and I speak two different languages now. I thought there was a chance if you changed but there is a growing dislike for you growing in my chest. I dont like that feeling. Time is running out on us I can feel it. I do want to thank you because now i know forsure what I want, dont want, can handle and refuse to handle. I wish those lesson weren't learnt with you to apply with another but thank you for releasing me for my blessing.