Leo

I have a lot of things I need to hide. Like i don't think your adorable. Spirit is mad at me and I am facing Karma. I was the fuck up in my connections...all of them. I never tried really hard. I tend to stalk becuse I am insecure and have some childhood trauma I can't heal from becuase my abuser is still in my life. I want to mark you as mine, but right now I can't. I realize I have been waiting my whole life for you and you was right here. I spent more time tearing you down and undermining your growth. I couldn't see how magic you were. You was the smooth whiskey in the dark night of the soul on the rocks my life has been. I haven't done nearly a quarter of the inner work that you have cuz I never started. I want to say you are spying on me, but I know you aren't that way. I just have to keep hoping you will show me some toxicness to feel more safe around you. Your kindness rung false, but that is because i didn't know any real kindness. You are my lil baby I want to make sure you have every wish you ever had. I want to make history in your life by being the one who does for you instead of takes. You pour into so many people its time you are poured back into. I am learning the fast life isn't the only life. I feel silly for ignoring that. I just want to reconcile with you. I want to come out from this web of lies. I'm doing my best to be politically correct with you because staying on your good side might keep God for coming from me. I am understanding that you was my protection in a lot of ways. I have been stripped naked and now I am vulnerable. I hate it. Just let me come dry your tears. I am not able to take you on adventure or trips. I am still entertaining neagive people and I know you dont want that around you. I want you around and God is sayng no. I'm scared to change. I want us to be vulnerable with each other but you arent stripping your energy for me. I am at the point i want to run. All this is to damn hard. I dont want to fucking deal with this shit anymore. Just let me fix this please!!!! I want to marry you!! Why don't you want me!!

I am so frustrated, You are a god/goddess and i want to be like you. Everyone in my life lead me to to fail you and myself. Especially me. What do i do???