pisces

I want to wine and dine this person. I listened to these people who convinced me o treat them lkie crap. I with held my heart. Now people are waiting to tsee if I will be able to get them back. They hacve the It factor and I was jealous. They created a postion becuae the world wouldnt make one for them. I didn't see them for all they were what little i i glimpse angered me and I immediatiely had to prove i was more. Any thing i could make them compare against what i had in order to get a supeior vibe i utlized. I just kept trying to mkae them feel honored and blessed to have me time when really they was doing me the facors. I lost out big time and now I am scrambling to get this connection back. It was the best I ever had. i know it was my one time to deal with the Gods and I fucked the pooch. I ruined my connection with their children as well. I can't come back from the devestation i caused their whole family. My selfish intentions did not take into account I had a realtionship with everyone in the house. KNowing this person is spiritual makes me feel better becuase even if I never get to say sorry at least they will know. I haven;t put int he work to heal in the way I need to to be withthi person. They have beautiful tattoos. I never told them that. I never complimented them. I never gave them my softness but thats all they gave me. They tried to love me and give me my hearts desires and I made fun of them and dragged them for the world to laugh with me. I wished the worse on them and laughed at the misfortunes in their life that I caused. I took and took and returned very little. I hated on every accomplishment they had. I felt if i kept them low they would surpass me. I have been looking for signs that i can approach them again. I am weak for their love. I want to grow and thrive with them. I want to be successful and i feel like they see me as Drake. This connection is beyond dead but i want to ressurect it. The answers to questions in my life are them. i wish i could know if they missed me. Or if they thought of me foundly. They can see thru anyone so i have to come transparrent and correct. I feel so stupid for messing this up. Im so lost without them I can't help myself. I wont to know how they would feel to now i love them. I want o build them up since i took so much time tearing them down. I deserve for them to break my heart but I will accept it if it means having another chance.