sagittarius

I just want to chill with you. Watch some comfort shows with you. I'm dying but I will fix this for my kids. I will be a guardian angel. I will make up for it all. I will find joy in being a protector. Stepping away from the mortal coil is getting easier day by day. I actually am happier knowing my time is near. I am tired . I can't keep on this path. I want out. When it rains I think of you and i feel regret. As if God is showing me you crying. I owe you especially. I shouldn't have gathered people to be against you. I am not surprised you turned your back on me but it still hurt me because you dig yur heels in. I guess you see pass face value connections that played on your inexperience in life. I came for you and you was nowhere near prepared. Right now I am fighting my demons. Im shrinking within. Could we just sit and talk I have so many questions. No matter how old you were you always had answers for me. Insightful and witty. I utilized as many of your talents as I could you didnt seem to appreciate all you could do.You are what the call the difference between a cerificate and a degree. If you came back around Id do the same thing because its my nature but I would be kinder on the surface. Somewhere in all of this I love you. I have horrible intentions toward you, but there is a percentage of love in here somewhere for you. I just don't feel like looking for it. Your only defense against me is to ignore me. I hate that. I alwyas have something to say so not having anything to say is drivng me crazy. If I cared about you Id say keep up the good work, but I'm scared and I could use your strength again. I won't undermine your abundance anylonger. There is a insurance policy. I can't cahnge now but my penance is set up. I promise I will make this up to you. I am going to fix this. I have to fix this I didnt mean for it to gothis far.I shouldn't have made you prove yourself over and over when there was nothing tho prove it wasn't ever my decision. I understand you knew that and still tried to heal me. I am sorry you didn't recieve what you desired. I jjust wanted to chew you up then spew you out but you are tough. Any day now.