Capricorn Moon

Can we talk?? I fucked up bad and I am trying to cover my ass. In every language and sense of the word. I choose you and thats why I am still here, but I learned my lesson finally and I think I need to walk away. Ilost everything for you and you still don't want me? You won't change or me? Didn't I earn it? I've lost you haven't I? I lied and cheated and blew smoke up your ass and thought I was superior to you while you was thinking the same.. no you did me one better you acted like you was better then me in my face. All I wanted from you was candlelight and champagne vibes you know a romantic life. I wanted your soft heart but I never recieved it. I just wanted to love you. I crossed that thin line between love and hate. I feel fucked so I'm going to fuck you back. I don't care if we both go down at least you will be with me. I admired you for standing out I didn't realze you was standing on my kneck to do it. If I never see you again I wouldn't cry right now your name makes my ears ring and I want to make the world fry. You will never know. You will see nothing different but why should you? You pulled the wool over my eyes time and time again now its my turn. I wanted forever with you. I wanted to make all of both our dreams come true. Now Iam disgusted with you. You are such a joke to me. You made your choices quick and fast and I was always last. You let me feel like I was important to get your needs met and now we are both filled with regret. I though you was my medicine meant to make it all better but now I see you was what was killing me. I saw you plainly and thought gee you just need me and you saw me and thought gee I'll use you. I never had a back bone with you. I just kept giviing in, takes dumb leaps of faith. All for things to NEVER last. My family hates you and now I finally understand why. I didn't recognize your energy. I didn't hear what youwas plainly saying to me. I just laid down and gave you everything. Now i see your true colors. I should have never followed you down this path. I think I just loved you from the past so much I tried to carry it to the future. I didn't notice your shadow side becuase i had my own to hide. I put you on a pedastal you didn't deserve. I treated you with kid gloves. I felt you was a gift from God. I thought i could secretly mold you into who I really wanted to be with. Now I can't think straight the walls are crumbling and the silence is loud. I can't worry about anyone else but myself right now and i can't focus. I wanted to be new in a connectionwith you. I thought be soft and gentle and romance you into my heart... I guess I got hypnotized instead.

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