Leo

You just wanted to be with someone who gave you balance. You wanted a Union that you was literally the other half of. Even if you was the polar opposite you still wanted symestry. You have a soft heart and you just knew you was going to have romance, flirting, and romantic dates. You was not prepared for verbal abuse, slurs, and the fighting. You was not prepared to feel like a 3rd party in your own home. You thought certan connections change things. You was unaware the leeles people will go to be connected to another. You thought you was heading towards expansion and the safe space to be innovative instead your dreams were crushed and your love thrown in your face, So you are leaving it alone. Why keep trying if betrayl and dimimishing of spirit is all that is offered?? Heartbreak and pain, seperation and loss, deception and lies were the only gifts from the repeated shocking attacks from your so called loved ones. Where is a place to hold faith for love to come when from the craddle you was taught to swallow disdain and choke on misery.

No real friends to lean on, no fun to have, trapped in connections that drag you to the pits. Living in the moment served you very little becuase the connections you wanted are dead and gone. You can't resurrect this particular energy it kept you stagnant and despondent. You held on to your outdated thought process for the longest and it conditioned you to only continue negative actions that feed the despondacy and the cyccle continues. The last time was the last time you aren't feeling safe enough to try to love again, to trust, to be your true self becuase it always blows up. Even if you did meet somone you would have your heart so wrapped up in safedeposit boxes only the most determined person would do it and you fear you have ruined anyone who would actually have made it to the finish line. Now its time to regroup and work on the armour. I know I need to make some chanes but I am scared and I have no idea who to trust while I shed my outer shells safely. I have to figure it out though I cannot no I refuse to keep living a unhappy existence.

I can heal, I can thrive, I will love and survive!!