Heart Song The Hearts Truth

I got shit to do.  I gotta focus and you are a distraction.  I never had you and now that your gone I've lost a opportunity to have you so fuck it and you!  Except you are on my mind every night, all night. I cannot even hold you while you cry in your dreams because I turned my back on you in the flesh and in the spirit world.  I was in my masculine energy and buried any trace of my feminine energy because it made me feel weak. You have always been my sunrise. You loved me at my worse. I even stopped loving me I can't understand how you do it. I know you used to ask me what I liked to see you in and it's your dresses. You seem so soft and vulnerable. I know you are not vulnerable in the least, but you just ooze feminity like Gaia in Captain Planet. When it came to you I always knew it was you. I just didn't want it to be you. If I had a better example at home maybe I would have done better by you. I hope you would have gotten a better me because I know in any universe I

That one connection that dragged you thru the mud is over. That situation that had you wondering about your worth and if you deserved all that had happened to you and was it your fault is over. You got away. You survived. You overcame something no one that you would walk away from. 

We don't talk we dont even kiss. I miss kissing you, your lips are so soft.  I tried to stop thinking about you because you scared me. I also figured leave you before you saw the real me and left. I made such a mistake walking away. I realize I can't do this life thing without you.  Your body is a wonderland. You thighs are thick, you have a great sense of humor, your smart as fuck and still have a dirty mouth, your heart puts the best parts of you to shame it's so beautiful 😍😊. I didn't confess my love for you because of fear of you leaving me.  Oh my God that day you cried and screamed at me still haunts me. That day I tried to love on you and you pulled away like I disgusted you makes me shrudder. How could I treat you so bad my touch makes you shy away? You used to cling to me finding every reason in the world to touch me.  I hear you have some spiritual gifts that let you know when I'm heading your way. So I'm stumped on how to get to you now.  I don'

Have you talked to your friends? Have you told them how you feel about me? I only ask cuz your not talking to me. You always come back and talk to me. Even when I was running from you you would still reach out.  I don't want anyone to get in-between what we had. You are all up in your spiritual bag and you know my next moves before I even take the step.  I just want you to stop crying. I can feel it every  time you cry and it's breaking my heart. I won't leave again if you let me come home. I'm coming to you on my knees but I'm running on them because this love I'm feeling is overwhelming me. It's got me feeling like I'm bursting.  I don't know what to say to you. I didn't do you right. Like J. Holiday I'm suffocating because you are away from me and I'm going out of my mind. I tried to marry a side piece and now I'm losing in every aspect. I was betrayed in this connection so now I'm scared to trust and I hear you hate me so what

You miss them so much. You walk around with tears in your eyes barely making it each day without drowning in sorrow. Your connection ended with such a crash that no amount of cpr seems enough to revive it.  You both see each other as the enemy, but you were meant to be allies. You were not meant to be enemies but those around you were dead set on driving a wedge between you.  How dare you glow from being loved? How dare you have fun? How dare you feel stronger because of their love?  You had something unique and no one wanted you to have it.  You found by accident what most search their lives for and only find a measure of the love you stumbled upon.  While you both felt that you didn't deserve the gift your love was the Universe saw different and stirred the flames of your love causing it to grow while both of you tried to dampen it down with deds and relationships.  If either of you had the power you would have cut your love out and gave it to a random just to avoid the pressure

You have been struggling with stability and feeling secure where you are at this moment in life. You may have felt you had to lie about your connections in order to have any sense of permanence in life.  The need to be flexible has been a constant and it has caused you to be the runner in relationships. You haven't felt safe enough in your connections to truly be intimate and let ego go.  The issue with that is it keeps you in a self absorbed type relationships because you can't care for others if your well being is first and foremost in your every move.  You intentionally pushed away people or only let them close enough to benefit from the connection but to not grow. The time for that is over. You need to let people in. It's time to make some smarter connections those that are reciprocal rather than one sided. This will benefit you and those who connect with the new you.  Don't be scared to shed the old way of observing the world and try on a new perspective I bet you