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Showing posts from December, 2023

I swear I am trying

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I've put in so much work and have nothing to show for it. At least with a job your 401k will pay out eventually. I 've been trying to stay low key but i want to play for keeps with you. Noone knows how I feel about you about us because i refuse to discuss you. I want to contact you but you have me blocked. I thought by now you would unblock me and be forgiving. I see you for who you really are when before i thought you was a totally different person. I thought walking away would make both our lives happier. I know time is up. I messed up a lot and you should've left me long ago. We were promised a lifetime ago that we werent to be togther. I want to dedicate my heart to you. I want a fufilling life you. I want to create a healthier legacay for both of our families. As frustrated I am i am so focused on you and making life what you always deserved. I want to see you soon. I want to protect you from getting hurt anymore. I know i want to dream with you and create a new

hey future mom/dad

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You have a baby waiting to be concieved. They need you to heal yourself, ground, and get back in touch with yourself so that you are a healthy enviroment for them to growth with. Your baby already loves you and wants you to be your best. You may feel healed but there is still some things you need to do some shadow work on. You kinda are stagnant right now and the level you need to be be on you aint there yet. Sometimes its not about self healing. Sometimes it really about leaning on others. You are a vibe, but right now your Spirit baby says its a killer vibe and not benficial to anyone. This child is going to have a flair for fashion and they will excude their Venus energy more than any attribute. I know right now it seems they arent on the way but the timiing isnt right. You can use tarot to talk to them. If you have been crying thinking that the baby just isnt ever gonna come you have to wait for divine timing. Do not worry about evil eyes noone will no they are coming to you

We need to talk

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I'm on my way to talk to you. I'm not trying to text you all of this. I have a lot to say and I hope you are willing to listen to me. There has been a lot of interferance in our connection and i just need to clear everything up. I hate this up hill battle i feel we have been fighting for what seems like forever. I know I act like this stuff is easy to get over but i really just bury all of it deep down. I know i should have learned from my past faster, but the lessons took me so long to understand let alone learn from. So i let all my traumas keep me trapped. I stepped beack from you because i had to see where my head was where i fit in when it comes to your life. Do i add to you or am I a burden? Being so far from you makes me wonder and fear what you are feeling about me. I try to send you good vibes because ai want you to be ok evenif i am not with you. They say the sky is the limit but if there was no sky you are my limit. I'll do what ever it takes to reach you

I want so much more for us.

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When you feel all hope is gone please look to me i want to be the Love that lifts you. You have these boundaries up and I dont know how to approach you. I've been crying a few times out loud but mostly im drowing within. I dont know how to tell you i want more when all I have been doing is showing you everything, but my love. I want long term with you, but I know I have to earn it now. Its only right that I show you I mean it. I want to see you as soon as I can. I know you dont believe me. I want to knock it out the court. I want to take you on a adventure make up for all the trips we never took. From Mexico to the windy city I want to slowly start opening your World up. I wontt use you. I want to build you up. I will do everything to make it so you wont walk away. I think right now I need to take a step back there is drama in the air. I feel like I can see clearly now I let our friends and family get our way. I know now what to prevent to keep us on a path where love liftin

Your my unspoken dream made real

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Tell me how am I supposed to breath with no air? You are the air I breath. You are my soulmate my heart. You are a boss in your own arena. You created a lane and I want to get into it with you. Everything is always fresh and new with you. You inspire me to change on the outside and inside. You are my sunrise and sunset. Right now nothing feels real without you.You look like a god/goddess and I in awe of you. You are my sun and moon and everything between. If none of that existed you would still be my king/queen. I pray for you daily though. I want you to be happy even if its not with me. IN the past I was definitely a toxic lover and things were never smooth sailing for us. I want to change your perspective so that you will give us another chance. Right now I'm trying to get my health right mentally and physically. I owe myself that before anything else but ypu are never far from my mind. I want you to think of my words and believe in me I do not want to cause pai

I'll fight any war with you

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You are in the middle of a war of those who want you to succeed and those who are praying daily that God show you that you are not all that. You arent seeing exactly what is going to end this, but you are so tired. Someone wants to know if you still want to have a relationship with them. This person doesn't have time for you at the moment and they are aware it bothers you. They know that time with you is the most important to them. They try to come to you with their truths because they have nothing else to hand you aside from their lies. This person questions why you provide a space for them in your life. The harder life is the more they feel they can trust you to support them. They have trouble sleeping because you are on their mind nightly. During the day while making money its their focus, but you stay in their thoughts never very far. This person wants to tell you that if you chose not to deal with them thats fine, but be prepared for them to be enraged because the thou

I'm freaking Miserable

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I lied. I'm sorry. How do you keep loving me? I tried to use dark magic on you. I will get therapy for us. I can help you make money. I can help build your legacy. My family keeps making fun me when it comes to love. I did't know I needed to grow up not for me not for you not for anyone.  I thought being a kid at heart meant being childlike ya know? No responsiblities or serious connections because that was for settling down and I wasnt ready for that. I am trying to be perfect for you although i know you dont need me to be.  I'm not going to lie I have been suicidal due to my overwhelming karma. I keep asking God how to make this stop but He is silent. I guess I have to do what I was supposed to do in the first plaace and dig deep to figure out why I am the way I am then figure out how to fix it. What if I cant what if I am meant to be a monster. You dont want a monster and noone else matters to me now but you so what do I do?   I promise you I truly am trying to be a bett