No matter how I try to hide it this is me. I am pessimistic and negative. Unlike you I can't see the beauty in everything. I want you to teach me becuase I dont want this moment to pass me by.
Its hard because I cantadmit how i betrayed you. I couldnt move forward in my life because I was too busy trying to stop you. Now your entirely entitled to shut me out but I hope you wont.
Everything you do you do with integrity. You dont rush thru life. Iknow ou have spent a lot of time strssing thru life but you still over come. I stole from you. Your time, energy and for some even your money.
I know I need you, I wish you needed me as much. I cry over how I ruined this conection. We was like family and I ruined it. I cant look you in the face becuse of the heaviness of my betrayl. I hope we can come back from this. I know things will never be the same, I still cant believe how I hurt you.
I hope you will save space in your heart for me. I admit I am jealous of you and how you move. You are so abundant I want that too. I am caught up in a storm of life and i fear i cant survive.
I need to do some healing. I know it but im scared. All that pain i fear it. Im out here acting big and bold but i go home and dream about pleasing you. I want to heal so we feel like a family again. Im getting rid of people and things that ruined our connection. I've even dabbled in magic. I need you!!
You stayed blind to the real me and i think it was out of love. I used to say this is just me but it it wasnt and isnt. I need to heal me. I am learning to care for myself. Its harder then I thought. I have so much to learn. I want to learn how to be better.
I hate being seperated from you. I hate there is no closure for us. I hate i messed this up. I want to take you on a date. I want to earn your love back. The idea of someoneelse loving like you alwys needed makes me hold on more. Im trying to learn how to love you better from the people yu used to deal with. I stlk the ones you loved the most. I hate them How did they get your real love and I couldnt and didnt.
I know noonw is ooking out for me in the ethers. im your op and have been for a long time. I spy hoping i see a way to get back in your good graces. I got aniety about coming towards you. I definitely been acting like a red pill person regrdless of my sex. Im coming back and im coming back fast. I know i gotta look at every angle. Its the only way to get a good outcome with you. I see you walking away and i cant ctch up My sacral chakra is all messed up. Im controlling, aggressive and I lack direction.
How do I fix this??
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