Your inner thoughts about your person

If I could just get them to hold me down. Kiss ass? Tell me how. My head game is phenomenal. My communication though... not so good. I could be the best lover given the chance. We are so different I think that might rip us apart. If i got them and then lost them...I'd crash the fuck out. I pushed them away to get my ego stroked by strangers. I don't want to go thru another season without them. I am on my way to them. I just want a chance. I have no idea if thats a good idea, but I have to try. I know they are trying to heal from me but.. fuck all that I need them. I can show them I am sincere. I want to go home. Home is in their arms. I will confess everything to get a chance. I love them so, but I think what I have done has made ity impossible to fix things. It was my job to show in every interaction and moment that my love was real and there for them. I was in my negative masculine energy and ws so very toxic. I look for signs and answers and i'm getting nothing. I'm so lost on how to fix this. I know I can't utlize the past to hold on to them. At this present moment I don't deserve this conection. I admit I thought about trapping them with a baby but if it isnt out of love I dont want to do this. I cant offer sex or temporary pleasure. I missed my chance and I should just accept it. I should have been honest or just never tried to force a negative let alone any connection when they didnt want it with me any longer. I didn't do right by them and I deserve it.

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