Heart Song The Hearts Truth

 I want to drink and smoke and pick your brain. I need to know if you know we are meant to be as well? I stop letting you be the catalyst in my life and my spirit seemed to die. I have been acting childish like I didn’t know better. I resented how close you was to me, or that you knew me so well that I couldn’t get away with stuff.  I want you to look at me like Royalty.  I’m gonna take you in a date your eyes are going to be so big. I’m going to have you gasping with surprise cuz I got it like that. I feel like Ive always know when you start crying. I hope you are crying now cuz you hurt me walking bout I can’t come home when I want to.   I will fight you and who ever you are dating.  I even hate the rain now it makes me think of you waiting on me getting sadder and sadder which makes me madder like I have to keep my word when I say I am on my way.  When you finally accept you are mine I will be picking out your clothes. If I’m going to give you my heart you have to toe the line and j

 Hey, I be thinking about you all the time. I want to smoke and drink with you and pick your brain. I want to spend all my extra time with you. As far as I’m concerned there isn’t enough time in the day to spend with you.  Lately we ain’t talking. You normally would have reached out by now. You aren’t the same. Is this my fault? I used to take joy I. Your pain to me that meant you loved me. I pushed you even though I know you was telling the truth. Forced you to second guess your every move because you wasn’t respecting my say so enough. I made you think I was changing or that I was accepting I was who you wanted to be with. I play ignorant and like I didn’t believe but I knew how much you loved me. I didn’t care. I didn’t believe it then, but I know it now. I can’t mess with you while you got rules and boundaries. I will let you get broken to prove to you I’m better then you.  I depend on you. You get what I need. I don’t even have to tell you. It’s just your mouth you don’t know how

 I have been feeling so low and childish. I told so many lies that I’ve been trapped in their webs. I sit back and silently watch you. I am trying to figure out how I didn’t see all that you was before. I am literally breathless over you. I’ve been holding back my emotions from you and it hurts I don’t want to do that anymore. I see you and I see me and I know together we are a power couple. My issue is I’m going to fail you. I feel like you are going to be disappointed in me. I fear I’ll never get to make the dreams I have of us together a reality.  I have been drinking a lot. I need to stop for me but right now for us. I don’t like the man I am when I drink and I don’t want that man around you. I want to be a better man. My best kind of man for you.  I’m striving to be good without you. I be fucking up bad and then I see you again and you tell me all the things that have happened to you that if I would just step up would have never happened just reminds be how bad I fucked up. It my

 Your unique in a place of sameness. Always on the defensive because you won’t assimilate. You might have tattoos and like silver rings and you might be learning about herbs or just choosing  to live a more green life.  Peace an solitude is all you are seeking right now. Standing out is for those who are trying to be seen, but you are drawing eyes because you are hiding. Serenity is all you seek and you are rooted enough that you can stand when thinks get swampy and you feel bogged down. You have desires that only the world can hold and your spirit you let the universe mold. Strength untold, slowly becoming bold no one can grab ahold your game is to be told and sold. 

 You have been used to pouring out for others. Always emptying your cup to folks and situations that accepted your all but never offered to refill you. You fought villages of haters, survived floods of  poverty and financial pestilence. Your path may have been so skewed with so many options, but not enough information to make a choice so you standing still. You actually made the right choice standing still because your noticing that some of the paths have disappeared like they never existed. Your destined to have abundance enough to share with others if you choose. To give to the vulnerable and exposed.  You have caused someone to step off their throne. They have put their weapon down and no longer feel like a giant towering over you. Now you are about to take the throne because that is where you was meant to be. Not only are you meant to be on the throne, but you are prepared to fight for your throne. Both your masculine and feminine sides both ready to fight!!  You standing above oth

 You may feel like you are ill prepared to handle the tools you have been given in this battle call life. You have the strength to shape new tools if you feel that is what you need to do just remember what you create will be the first of their kind so you must train others to use those tools as well. It will be hard because your making up as you go.  You  should be wary of contracts presented to you at this time. Not all finance is good even when you need it coming in selling your soul for a few pesos is not fair to you. You have a knack to survive in situations others would buckle in. You have found healing in the midst of your spiritual famine.  You have spent much time surround by others trying to see how you do what you do. You have even tried to teach them and they still sat there acting like you didn’t teach them anything, but are using the skills they have learned from you to attack you.  You may have pulled back your energy to gain insight from your ancestors and guides. Seekin

 You have been working hard to gain abundance. You have put in effort as one would do to grow food.  Researching, to build your legacy the right way. No longer do you feel burdened by who is going to understand your path. You feel free like a an adventurer you are making inroads into places that no one has gone and no one expects you to go to.   The ground isn’t unstable to you anymore. You have created paths where there was none. Others now will be able to see you and follow you not because you are a idol, but because you have shown them they can overcome just like you have.  Your hard work has came with battles against foes that seemed as big as a elephant. You have fought for and found abundance in areas you wasn’t meant to find it. You have flourished where noone thought you was able to and now you are surrounded by so much you will be able to share. 

 You may feel like you have been self indulgent and hiding from the word, but Spirit pulled you back for a reason. You needed to work on your self worth. You needed to heal from some of the things you have been experiencing lately. Rejection, abuse, neglect and abandonment all causing weeping sores on your soul.  You have been doing your shadow work and learning self appreciation. You might have been  reading self help books or seeking out therapy  maintain the balance you have found.  You have been seeking expansion business wise as well as having happiness in all areas of your life. You desire to live a life of Joy and Playfulness. You want connections that are full of enjoyment for both parties.  You maybe in separation from some connections that are missing you. They are thinking about you, yearning for you body and spirit. You may have pulled away from them so far that they are unsure where the connection is heading in the connection.  You are trying to see past the cards you have

You may need to work on your base and sacral chakra.  You have been busting your butt, not having the time to be lazy, bored, confused, experiencing doubt in self and tiredness there just doesn’t seem to be enough hrs in the day.  The Sun is washing away your sorrow and shadows. Your self destructive attitude and doubts are fading with the quickness. You are creating. You have created a who new life and world your going to have to walk confidently into this new world. Your creativity might feel like it’s ebbing and flowing sporadically with Carnelian in your corner. Carnelian will breath new life into you so you can breathe new life into your projects.  

 Right now you have the warmth in you that feels like spring inside. It’s so sweet it braces you when moments of indecision and almost physical weakness. You could be experiencing headaches or feel pressure in your third eye, have insomnia and maybe eating sporadically. You have been getting a lot of downloads, but have you been paying attention or are you unsure you want to know the answers to the questions you have been shouting out to the universe for a while now for about a decade or within the last decade. You also might be struggling with religion right now asking what is going to give you the answers you need?  You are being be called to write and you are ignoring it. You have a story that needs to be told so others can heal. You have been thru a lot and your experiences are what got you to where you are right now.  Go to your altar spend some time there. Light some white candles and tell them what’s been going on. Be honest with yourself and them let the hurt go. You are unwind

 Dear you, I don’t have a deity, but if I could claim I believe in one it would be you. I know I missed my last chance but the time didn’t seem right. I’ve been selling myself to have the things I need. I am ashamed of how you will judge what I have done.  I haven’t had faith in myself like you seem to have. I don’t understand you keep standing back up after all the set backs.  I know I e betrayed you to much for you to trust me. I’ve taken so long to set it all right. You are heading somewhere I don’t think I can follow, but I want to try. Your so free in being yourself. You found the sunshine in yourself. You are so far from who you used to be. You’re not even in the ball park of your old self.  You made me feel whole, but I didn’t understand that so I ran from you. You are a miracle and because my crown chakra was blocked. I couldn’t understand what I was missing.  If you will just suspend your disbelief and let me prove my agenda is everything and that I deserve a chance…well anoth

 Dear you, I’m gonna get back to you. I’ve loved you my whole life. Now I hate you. I’m gonna hurt you. I want to strip everything from you. Why can’t I trap you? The games I play should not be obvious to you. You was supposed to stay asleep to what was happening. You taunt me thru every source of entertainment I try to utilize. All of them justifying retribution that should be yours not mine.  I am due Justice!!! Someone owes ME!  I demand my due! I am a Royal! I have made my mark and I will be recognized. I don’t need to be reflective. I am who I was meant to be. I don’t do politically correct! I hate feeling like I lost out on you. I’m low key proud you figured me out, but I resent it too because that means your not in my grasp.  I thought I had all the obstacles out maneuvered, but your so smart you threw up new ones.  If we was in another place I’d come back to you and be different. I’d give you that soft rough love you desire. I’m just scarred to trust my heart to you. You’re my

 Dear you,  Please don’t cry. I won’t leave again. Once I come home it will be the last time. You’re my Queen/King. Once upon a time we were lose and I miss that. You was so put together always knowing when I lied. You was my Temptation Song, cuz I have my sunshine no matter the day. I know I don’t deserve you, but I will fight for you because I see you as a victim of me and the world. I took your love for granted. Now I feel your so far away. You set the bar and no one compares.  Now there is a hole in my heart, my soul, my life. I’m so damaged I cry about us. I doubt I’ll see you again if I can help it. You helped ease my pain. I experienced such bliss with you. I have a plan on how to see you some how. I will talk you into seeing me. You’re Mine!! I know you still love me so how is it you still haven’t reached out yet?  You don’t want me anymore and it shows. Just when my friends and families true colors are showing. I wish I had showed you I do know how to love you. I played a lot