Heart Song The Hearts Truth

No more retries. #Gameover There is literally no way to win this battle. Your mental healthy is a concern, but it is your concern I cannot an will not make it my priority. I have to focus on me eventually and I choose now. Your the kind of person drunk at work. Just dangerous for no other reason then selfishness. The messed up part is I used to think you was the only person in the world who understands me. We used to hold hands, look at the stars, and dream. I left because I felt like you didn't appreciate my gifts or even your own. For a moment though I was swept up in your vibe. I want your heart, but not as tainted as it as right now. Go fucking heal. Walking away should be hard but your making it easier day by day. The happiness of my soul as this connection dies is uplifting and saddening as well. I shouldn't feel lighter and happier, but that is how I feel. I shoould be sad, and mourning, but the death of this connection is destined. I am meant to be manuevoring li

I need a partner not a liablity. I need you to understand if you come back. Your insecurities cannot and will not stop me from growing. With you there was always a piece missing and I was always waiting for it to fall in place. We just kept moving forward with no actual change or growth in our connection. I had no bliss with you because you never wanted it with me. At this point in time i am ready to throw hands with you rather than be with you. Youmake me feel horrible about myself. I choose bad habits inorder to cope with hw much I hated how weak I felt because of you. Forget the knees make you weak kisses they are lies. I have meditated and prayed and i'm trying to model a better mindset and behavior to myself. I know longer will compromise with you or anyone like you. I am beautiful inside and out and you can't take that from me anymore. No more insecurites about my hair, body, or skin tone. You won't be the reason why I hate me. This particular door is locke

I have such high expectations of you and its not fair because it doesnt allow you to trulybe yourself. Yet i expect you to be perfect and noone can be that way. I want tobe there for you and I really dont know how to do that. I want to cater to you but instead i attack and undermine. Its like I am posessed everytime I deal with you and the worst parts of me come out and then I have to act like I meant to do all that cuzotherwise Im crazy for apologizing for being a dick all the time, Right now I'm a dummy I want to marry you and I am the worst. I keep pushing you away when all I want to do is pull you close. You are my comfort and understanding & I want to protect you and yet I am your worst enemy. I keep lying to you just to keep you close even though I know you would definitly be better off with out me. I know we knew each other in a past life and I know it indicates we had a chance for a connection now, but with my behavior I ruined things and I dont see us connectiing

I need a partner not a liablity. I think you are perfect for me please. I have abandonment issues and I know that can be irritating in the long term of dealing with someone but its not all crying internally I promise. In the next little while you will see some changes and I hope that you aill accept the change. I know that I will have to kiss your ass but I'm not overthinking it. I see the innocence in your heart and i want to protect that at all costs. I want to pray more about us but I don't know what to say or who to even talk to. Do you pray for us? Do you pray that our love changes from the toxic pit that it is right now? I want you to feel safe and i know that i actually make youfeellike there is pie on your face. I apologize that i keep acting up. I dont want a superficial life with you and right now thats all we could have because I am scared to dig deep. I want to be with you so bad. I don't want nor need more lessons in love they hurt especially the ones I

Its time to Boss Up and get on your grind. As you move forward you will make soul connections do not be afraid to experience new people. Don't worry about ex's coming back wanting to reconnect. Some bridges don't need to be recrossed. You can't sit there and listen to them talk about how they messed up with you. That is NOT your responsiblity. You have been paying attention to the signs and syncroniciites. The lining up of things has you over the moon with excitement. You are taking your time to enjoy each manifestaition as it comes. You are standing taller, walking prouder, and internally you are happier and thatis the biggest win of all. Soon you will have confidence that EVERYTHING that is meant to be yours will find you. Who cares about those who would accuse you of cheating to get ahead. AS you move up in life you will of course have your gguard up so don't trip. There will be those suck up to you as well to be in your energy. Don't trip on it you will

You are free to move on just dont come back. I dont think we are over, but if thats how you feel so be it. I can't tolerate a controlling, obsessive person with a lack of direction and who is fucking aggresive. Who do I look like being abused becuase you cant get contol of your solar plexus? You are learning not to be a hater, but bro that envy is loud and wrong. I'm your partner not your competion. I'm looking to fall in loved damn near everyday with my ace. With you I feel like I'm growing and then stagnancy. I fear you might leave me though, but I am working on that its a me thing not a you thing my fear of abandonment is trauma. You have been the fulcrum to the next stage in my life. I want to be your butterfly. I want to go within and change for the better. I know your leaving me though. I never imagined it would go like this. I never prepared for this. I acted like a child with no home training. I deserve so much bad in my life especially from you. If you let

You need to speak with your chest. If you want to propose you have to talk to the person you want to marry. Standing in the shadows just watching them solves what?? Stop trying to create situations and just pick up the phone and call. Someone is dealing with the law and that is one reason why they havent called. They are expereriencing Karma left and right. They dont want to bring that around you. Once all that is handled they want to come your way and ask you if they can play for keeps. This person can be in their late 30s or early 40s. They are very creative. They look innocent but can hwip some ass. They also are actually as nice as they come across. This person isn't coming to you in Ares/Athena energy this person is going to be your Hephaestus/Hestia some who knows the value of home, love, and loyalty. Its time for a romantic level up. I know that sounds kind of arogant, but it is the truth as you level up you need a partner who not only matches your fly but matches

Your beautiful and so is your spirit. I know you seek freedom. You want to be authentic and you feel you cant and that you are not the total package I need you to change the way you see life. Did you know you had people who hate you simply becuase you dont need them? Your ability to survive without them has them baffled. Some of them have had dreams about you where you told them about themselves, fought them and even murdered them. You are being supported by the Universe. You have been accountable for your actions good and bad. You stopped going after connections and situations that where only going to cause you to experience rejection. You are aware you are being watched but you also know you cant let that stop your progress. You have released the proverty mindset and have accepted you are being taken care of by the Universe. You may not have financial abundance at the moment but you have a ful belly a roof over your head and clothes to change into tomorrow that are bug and dise

I want to please you for hours and hours. I want to show you that you got the love i want and the love i need. I know right now i can't give you what you want . Yoou cant call me to come thru and its killing me and i know its frustrating you. I know we arent attaxhed but we are and i can feel you need me. I can't wait to hear your moans and groans again. I cant wait to hear your whispers in my war. Are the zodaic freak Tyrese was sining about cuz he left a few out. I always figured he couln't pull those ones. I cna't wait to come thru. Someone will be having back pains after this. I need to tell you something it may affect our long term connection. I suffer from depression and i have never learned healthy methods to deal with it. I dont want to mess this up and I know my behavior is a lot for a bunch of people let alone just you. I promise if you give me a chance I will do everything i can to not sabotage this. I want to do life the legal way. I have some things I

I love the love you give me. I have a habit of overthinking when it comes to you. I dont want any beef with you I just kinda want to push you into making a choice any choice but honestly your silience is a answer too. I question on if we can even have a future its like we get 2wks amx and then shit goes wonky. I'm tired of putting on a brave face I miss you. My soul feels weak without you . I want to curl up in your arms feel your kisses and warm embrace. I dont like being stressed. I want forever and i want it with you . Why wont you actually listen to me insteads everyone around you telling you what I want? Are they in the relationship with me? Do i even talk to them about real stuff? Like how can surface level people understand something soul deep without being jealous and hating? They was never on your side or understood what you was talking bout, but the look in your eyes was enough to be like "oh word?? You arent allowed to have what i never experienced" and its n

Promises was all you gave me. I didn't check to see if anything you said held wait. I placed my faith in you and allowed myself to begin to fall in love but I didn't feel safe. You did't let me feel ok caring about you. It took some time but i figured out you had another motive. As I look at the future I fail to see you in it. I'm not going to fight you. I honestly have other things on my mind. I wish you would choose a life that i could fully be apart of all the time. Any magic you have been playing with to have me tied to you has been returned 10 fold. You wanted me to ride your toxic wave. You wanted me craving you at the cost of the peace of my mind. You wanted me to create a home for you in my heart. For what? Why should I provide a space for someoone whom doesnt appreciate their special space? Why should i be a safe space for a unsafe person? I admit them kisses is what got me in the first place, but we aren't in no kind of kissing status. I just can'

Shits been rough. You need to change how you are looking at life. If you do not want to be stuck in depression then you need to be active about it. Pay attention to the mess around you . Stop walking blindly into situations. Someone wishes they could be with you tonight ( this is timeless dont worry). The man reason is healing from a STI but they still got you in the forefront of their mind. When they heal they want to come forward and apologize. They also want to know what makes your heart so big. This masculine/feminine knows someone is using magic on you. Theu know it might take therapy to heal from these betrayls and they hope you are willing to heal with them. They see that together especially healed yall can make mountains dance. You might feel that your the source of entertainment for your family, but they know they are the butt of many jokes. They never wanted to grow up. So anything that resembled responsiblity was a no. They know that their healing is their own responsib

I hope you dont keep anything I send you. I hope you have been discrete. I hope I meet you first next lifetime. That is how soulmates work isnt it? I wanted you to pick me. You was just so smart and so is Divine Feminine and it just isnt fair. You make her even better somehow! I want you. I deserve you! You look so good to me. Just once and I'll never ask again. I know I aint her but I'll show you some thangs. I know I should give up after all this time. I just have been wanting this and for it to hurt her for a long time. Why her?? So what if she is creative and inventive and funny she aint all that. I can never hate you and she does it all the time. Shes going to figure it out and I'll lose her foreve... Its just I've wanted you all my life.

God you are so smart! How are you so confident and, happy when all these bad things happen in your life? Then your love with Divine Masculine is beautiful. I have even seen the growth sense I've been more involved in his life. I want to see what really happens between ya'll cuz it cant really be so magical. I played him to the left. I didn't cocreate with him. I ruined our abundance. I played like I didnt see what I was doing was causing pain. If i could I would fix it now. How you handle all this is ridiculous who is that strong? If you let me I would love to talk to you. I did you wrong. I would love to be firends. Regardless we are family now. I think about putting some of the stuff you say on shirts. I can't hold him back much longer. I should have appreciated him. After all my spying I look up to you. All my secrets are coming out. I tried to copy you and I wasted money and time. I dont get how you do it. Due to all I have done now people are watching you bec

I dont want to tell you this but I look up to you. I eny you. She really loves ypu like die for you loves you. I have secrets I don't want the Divine Feminine to know, but you tell her all your secrets. I'm trying to copy your energy so I can get her back before you manage to step to the plate. I made a lot of mistakes. I thought how she felt about me was funny. Nobody saw how i broke her down but i did what no one but you could before. Why can't I have her? You can find others who are close to her I can't attract similiar energies. I stumbled upon the gift she is. I thought she was like me. Shes better. I want personal connections that feel like what I had with her. I wish you would just leave her so I can come in and pick up the pieces. I lied so much so I figured if i dropped all my truths on her now she will be so happy she will forgive me but she wont even glance at me if you are coming. I won't even blame you I will praise you to her tell her how lu

Its over over ain't it? You should've cheated on me. You was faithful to a ideal. I wasn't honest with you. I even had a baby on you but you don't know yet. I did't know you was meant to be my kingdom mate. I tore you down for no reason. If you give me a chance I would dig deep for you. I will give you the sex life you deserve. I was selfish. I felt safe but never made you feel safe. I have nothing to offer you but struggle love becuase I dont want to work hard. I have so many bad things happening I hope you are still covering me. I tried to destroy the joy you had. I wanted to have you clingy on me. I didnt understand not all women are like that. I can't pop up on you. I can't be intimate with you. I just want you to love me. I really want to prove my love thru sex. I just know you will fall back in love if i pull out my tricks. I will do and say anything to get you back to me. I need you. My life is in shambles and noone wants to save me. I ain'

Fuck It! Your tired of feeling a certain type of way? Well we are tired of you lording over us. You aren't the Queen. This is what we think about. You wont meet us where we are we won't fight you. We have nothing in common and maybe that is for the best. In a few weeks your going to see how we really feel. Who cares if you love us. You still aren't giving enough. You want a love story well we know your going to get it no matter how we interfer. Somehow you keep over coming no matter the obstacle. You are so creative. We chose to ignore those gifts and make you feel shame for enjoying what you loved because we didnt love anything but materlisim. We didnt want you to overcome. You have no idea who any of us really are except we are your oops. We can't go back and fix whats been so severly damaged and i dont think its possible to start brand new. WE would love to wipe the slate clean now that we see you arent so bad after all. You are so unique we should have celeb

You are so smart. Whatever was blocking you is gone. Your connection with the divine feminiine is a beautiful story. I want to see the ending. I want a love like yours. I want a masculine like you. I am upset that this growth is taking you away from me. I am so sad I feel like I am losing you. I have nothing to fill my void becuase i don't have a healthy attachment to you. I am not sleeping well since we sepearted but I know it was for your spiritual health. I want to go on adventures with you around the world. I have to be honest I am not the only spy in your life. I thought i was doing what was best for you. I am so mad at you right now! I need to get some help. I have some unhealthy thinking. I just know im willing to do anything to gain your forgiveness. I will kiss your ass to get your forgivenes. If you find out all the truth will you still love me? I caused so many problems! I have seen the error of my ways. Well i understand the consequences of my actions. I want

He got cheated on are you a cheater? He got lied to are you going to lie to him too? You make me nevous. You build people up and I fear if I get under your spell i will fall. I didn't appreciate my sibling. i took advantage of them. I used their big heart against them. Why is it even when you did stuff it never turned you dark like it did me? Why didn't you sink? I want to stop this war, but if you want it to continue I dont have the strength. I don't want to rush but i am coming your way in order to heal this for my siblings sake. I am going to start working on healing. I have been blaming my pain for my actions. I want to learn from you how to heal my pain like you have seem to. I challanged your boundaries and found them to be stronger than i had faith before i ran smack dab into them. Very soon i will reach out and apologize. I didn't completely understand that my actions and those of others you was finally going to step onto the path you was always been dest

You loving me is what has gotten me thru a lot a of things. I didn't believe you was able to love someone like I realize you love me. I had no idea you was so sweet. I want to cherish you now. i understand that the way things look make you feel unsafe but that is fair from the truth. You are safe because i will make it so. I will stand up for you. I may have walked away but i am coming back to be you anchor in the storms that are about to hit you due to others and their jealousy. I will admit to omine because I know ou could sense it. others knew you could see thru them as well. That is why they kept dismissing you . You saw to much. You read emotions before you learned any other divination techniques. You are glistening now that this new level up has occured. I want to let you knowthe next time i see your family I like you and want to date. I have noticed the few functions they have had recent were missing something. I dont understand why everone is trying to rush you when th

Someone told us to watch you. What made you change up? Was it really Divine Feminine? You don't need that nerd. All you need to do is grind a little harder. Kiss some ass and you might get aead faster. You don't need her. If you set your sight higher you could get it. Stop telling her everything! She knows way to much without your assistance. Everything we have done to stop her from reconnecting with you and everything doesn't stop either of you. We know that its a pointless battle but we still try. We just wont be happy seeing you two together. We don't like that she encourages you to be yourself. You lost is you mallable and we need you that way to control your money, your addictions, your connections.

I never let up on you. There was no safe happy place for you with me. I did everything but put my hands on you. I pretended to work harder than I was to carry on my relationships. I want to take credit for how you turned out although I am not fully sure if i have anything to do with who you are. I can't stand to be around you. You maybe blood, but I'd switch you for someone else. You may have walked away, but noone knows that so I will tell them I walked away due to disrespect. How can you prove what I let few witness and fewer understood what was actually occuring. I act like a masculine being emaculated instead of just a sad jealous woman. I should have appreciated the gift of having you in my life instead I resentated you. I was so trapped in my personal illusions that i couldnt feel sympathy for you. I even practice magic against you. I dont see you as a extension of me your alien. Did i ever tell you i hate it when you touch me? I mean i know you know, but I want to

Your nothing like him. You are to plain. You are slim. You have gone thru to much to sacrifice it be a soft female.He is going to keep you from making the big money. He is asking you to step up and do thankless probono type work. Take it easy and think this thru. What if he is worst then the rest? What if what he was what you refused to believe he was? I know i have given you no oppurtunity to know our family. I felt it was his job. I choose to saty far away but i have been watching... well until you blocked me. You are in the middle of buildng a legacy. Is a relationship a good idea right now? Why tie yourself to one person? So what if your alone when you are older. Its all subjective anyways. He is in no shape to be your partner. There have been so many people doing magic on him that hes buried in karmic debt. I keep a eye out because you are family even if noone is treating you that way. I am so proud of you. I have watched you grow and your chahracter hasnt changed. I would be

You need help or something? You already know how she feels. You can feel her in your soul. I hoped you would devestate her and leave her broken. I was hoping you would give her something incurable you know bring her down to where she belongs. Why should her heart heal? Mine never did. You know what come on over here I'll put this grown woamn on you and you wont want her anymore. I need someone to pick me over her!!!I'm going to make a move on you that child doesnt know what to do with a real man. I dont see my age I think I'm young and more desirable. I watched you walk away from that child to your destruction and i cheered. All the bad luck i couldnt create for her i wished on her. Losing you was just the creme of the crop. I laughed at all your dalliances because they cut her to the core. When you fought i hoped you would yell to trigger her. All the kind things you would do for her made me sick. Why was she getting a doting lover and i had noone? I wish you was my ma

Man stop messing with her and wife her. Stop partying your getting to old for that mess anyways. We grown and grown folks choose up or die alone. I never had what yall got but if I did i would fight for it. Divine feminie is a special person. She would make anyone proud to be with.She not the type to cheat so why are you being so stupid? I want to fall in love over and over again with the same person. I want to get that first date jittters for the same person over and your just throwing it away. Do you see what living in your shadow has done? I hope you are hearing me. This can be fixed. If you love her show her. Tell her she makes you weak, but she makes you strong and able to stand in the world. Hurry up and get to her. Steal her heart before she notices. Be the man she belives you to be. Stop stalking and walk up to her door with some flowers and a gift and beg your ass off. Do not disappear again. Take her out on dates. Get her shit she likes. Stay away from friends who encora

What are you doing with yourself? You got a lil bit of time to fix this mess. Your children need to see you being better. Be happy your feminine is connected to source. Not many are gifted that way. I messed up and made you feel unloved and it was wrong of me to not ever really fix it. I get why when I came to you the door of communication was shut. I gave you empty promises to stay connected not any effort and i apologize. You brought delight to my life i promise. You are my joy. I admit i was spying on yours and others connected ou you page like the grandkids and their mom(s) and your friends. Some of them blocked me but enough connected to give me more insight into your life. I still see you as a baby and that isnt fair. I really want a better relationship with you. I have proved fickle in the past but no longer. I was young when you was born and did not handle it well. I was scared I would hurt you and funny enough i managed to do just that. I want to fix this I just need you t

Maybe I just want you to show me your focused. Your not listening to me anymore becuase I steered you toward Karmic partners. You found a extra ordinary love and i convinced you to walk away from it. I wanted a connection like you found. I wanted to be as happy as your feminine was and I hated her for finding that joy in my chikd. I know when you figure this all out you will walk away. You will recognize my jealousy and envy caused stumbling blocks in yor life. I abused you for not being my divine masculine and being better to this divine feminine then most men treat any women. I understand that you see she kept me close until she could safely pull away. I figure she finally felt strong enough. She told me about my gossiping ways I didnt understand she clearly understood my actions and reasoning. I want to heal things if you both will allow me. I dont wnat to lose you. I know i have to learn to keep my hands out your pockect its been selfish of me and encouraging you to neglect the

I am sorry. I put to much attention towards making a profit and failed to put any effort towards you. I chose to go towards other things instead of chasing you. I neglected to see the fabulous person you was and instead chose to see the persona others projected on you. I chose to be in the streets in others sheets when i had you at home waiting to make me happy. I thought i was glorius . I didn't realize it was your shine reflecting off me. Once you left my life just was up and down it was like consistancy abandoned me. I left a stable person and introduced chaos into their life and judged when i had no room to judge. I started arguements to cover my behavior. I felt that making you feel small would boost me and keep me feeling like a god/ddess instead of like the unworthy bug you revealed me to be. I didn't want to face my darkness then you came in and lit every fake part up. I hadn't realized how much was fraudulant about the life I was leading. Being with you made m

I love you more and more each day. I love you in a very special way. I know you have no ill will towards me. I know you even ignored your intuion a time or two when it came to dealing with me. I know you didnt have to so I thank you because not many would give me that grace. You was such a blessing when all I did was tear your world upside down. I took your blessings and claimed them as my own. I repeatedly stopped your forwad progress to aid my attacks on your personality and reputation wanting nothing more to prove I was the only reason you survived. If people knew any blessing you had I took a portion, every step toward progress i ridiculed or tried to lace with imposter identity. I battled you on so many fronts and laid all my burdens at your feet. I loved to see you battle worn and sick from trying to survive my attacks. I enjoy you begging me for scraps it shows the world YOU need me. I even disrupted your relationships. You having support meant you didnt lean on me as much.

I stopped watching you though its so very hard. I really need to know what your doing, who you are giving your energy to all of it. I miss your text updates so I could imagine you throughout the day. I miss you. I am willing to drink my self to obliviion so i can see your face in my dreams. You make me feel so strong and confident in my actions and thoughts. I admit for the most part I move thru life terrified. I have pretended for so long to be strong and wise and now everyone is going to know I stole my swag. I pretended to be you so that others would love me as they love you. You make my heart smile and that is why I want to be like you. You are a divine femenine/maasculine and i am karmic. I really thought I would get it right this time but I just made it even worse. I acted in Dark Fae energy and came acrss as a alien. I also fucked around and found out when I got a STD. I didn't think they was the promiscuious one I thought it was you. I hate that i have health issues

Your job feels like a illusion. It looks great on the outside but on the inside its chaos and back bititng. You are trying to do your lifes work and you keep getting blocked. Don't worry there is co-workers or even supervisors who see the merit of your work and will be supporting you as you continue to press on. You will be blessed due to your hard work and preserverance. Your energy makes people feel like they have always known you. Those who have known you and lost connection with you are willing to do anything to get back in your life. To have the privilige of looking you in the eyes and not being shunned from your presence again. You are a blessing to all who work with you. Your presence is minimal and that causes discontent. You take people from their comfort zone and they want you to meet them in their safe space instead of making them come to you. The days of people using you are over. You might be applying other places or looking for other avenues to make finances. T

Someone tried to keep something hiddden.They felt the world was spinning just for them. Right now there is fighting as truths come out. Nothing is going their way. When every thing was always a win now there is offense and defense at all times. The emotions are running high, but a truth is coming . This truth brings so much abundance to you and noone can stop what is coming. You are thinking for yourself and nothing or noone is going to hinder that. Your health is getting better or you are getting over a cold. For some of you healing from a std scare has thrown you for a whirl. You arent in this world so figuring out the humans is just a lot sometimes especially cheating partners. Just keep healing and keep on forgiving and releasing. You are going to get to a point where you will sto worrying that you are on the right path. You will look up one day unable to imagine yourself doing anything else. Illicit paths will be offered more often becuase bringing you down will become a

All the things you said running thru my head has me feeling I am not enough. You deserve more than I can give emotionally, finanancially,mentally and even physically. I have been sexually unwise and I have a STD/STI( sexually transmitted demon or incubus). I am connected to too many people sexually and I do not how to release those bonds. I like having so many people wanting me. I feel loved having so many people fighting for my attention. I didn't regonize real love. I feel if you love me you will keep doing for me. When you stop you don't love me. I know you have to live your life and being up my ass isn't part of your whole day. I promise you I am not closed off. I am just scared of you seeing to much or figuring out I am a fraud. I ran away in November because its just to much emotions to handle. I thought kepping things sexual was going to protect my heart, but I just fell even harder for you. I feel if I come forward to fast you will lose sight of what you are

I am going to take you on adventures around the world. I want you to be restless every morning waiting to see what the day brings. I want to see you as soon as possible but i don't see it happening until Spring. Warning I'm definitely not a angel I am fae trickster by nature. I utlize ghosting becaue I fear my heart being broken. I don't want to waste your time, I don't want to lose whats mine. As long as your gone I am not fine. You are a leade. Your so intelligent I think you should go back to school. You will be able to focus more because you wont have people in your energy. You wont have people using you either. I swear i really think you should go for it. When you need to relax I want to be the one who fluffs your pillow up, I want to be the one that fills your cup, I want to be the love you need I want to be the one who fufills your needs. I am so present with my feelings when it comes to you. I will excel and triumph and fructify ( make something fruitful

I don't enjoy the way I feel. My fucking soul hurts. I don't feel unique in this situation. I feel like I have always been like this and there is no changing, but come to find out it was spell work. I have learned to protect myself. No longer will I accept interferace in my connections. There is one person I want to talk to and it hurts its been so long I almost forget what its like to kiss them. I want to be the shoulder they lean on and that's a issue when others are relentless with their watered down evil eye. I have been working on my soloar plexus chakra. I am no longer controlling, obsessive, and lacking in direction. I had to walk away from things that didn't sit well in my heart. Thats why I can't walk away from you. You are the best thing for me. You are my ideal mate. If you hadn't noticed I've been flirting with you. I suck at it but I want you to know i'm interested. I'm sorry I ghosted. I am coming back. I want to make a movie wi

I can't seem to make anything happen. I have been seeking peace and its hiding from me. I can't text you because I won't find the answers I require. I need to see you in person. I need to have physical connection with you. I am aware there are others out there who crave your energy as well. I know I could have had you but i wasn't authentic in my desires and actions. I moved to soon and assumed you would beg to make me happy. I didn't realize I was ugly in my actions and persona. The Gods above see my behavior and cursed me for it. Your ancestors has razed my mind and heart all that left is guilt. I have been able to dream and talk to you but the convo never goes how I want. Even in my dreams you are cursing me out. I'm thinking of calling you and asking you to pull my cards. Trust me I'm prepared to kiss your ass to get some help. I know full well that I can't wear a mask around you. I just don't know who the real me is so there might not be a

Everyone is counting your pockets becuase they know you are moving up in the world. You are smarter than a lot of people give you credit for including me. I'm thankful that you encourage me to be myself. You allowed me to see the sky is the limit for my dreams. You are to intent on moving forward whether its across the country, state, or even the city wherever its not far enough. I see you and now I'm choosing to not give you a cold shoulder i am just fearful of being hurt. I have experienced a lot of pain and i do not want to come even close to it again. I don't want to be shackled to another session of healing. Its a bunch of bs. Noone should experience such pain in the first place, Relationships should not be up hill battles. Also allowing interferances leaves a hole in the heart that is hard to mend. The lies and misinformation i enjoyed was becuase it was wrapped in gentleness. If you was aware I was a predator you would have never gave me a chance but im not tha

Will you forgive me? Let me prove that you are important. Your happiness is paramount Your presence is pressure. People have been coming against you, but they have no idea this is all about to blow up in their face. I am so sorry. I am sorry I hurt you. I truly do fuck with you the long way. I am not on my Donell Jones I know where I want to be. I love how vulnerable i feel with you. I had no idea that vulnerablity could equal safety and be a symptom of love. ou got some boundaries up and i want to cross all them cuz who the fuck do you think you are, but i had to think about it. My partner better be able to tell me no and I respect it. Why woud I get mad at your boundaries unless its a me problem?? Im so much more healed then before. Although I know it seems like I'm just saying stuff, but i truly do mean it. I have no intution right now. Im walking blind. I know its been a long time since we have seen each other, but i thought i had more time before I came your way. Look

No matter how good my facade you manage to see past it to the mischeious me or the sad me. I hate that you get past my armour. How do I get you into as equal a vulnerable postion. Due to your spiritual gifts I can't make any plans to make a move towards you. I have no support on how to reconnect but it is my biggest heart desire. I have been bracing myself for the blowback from spirit. I have to be honest I dont trust you yet. I am ready accept my gifts as well. You have inspired me to embrace then rather than run from them. I need a little time to get my shit together, but by Spring I feel like I will be ready for a healthy version of our connection. I will be honest i am not sleeping well I just want to rush in and go on adventures with you but its not the time. You have noo idea how funny you are to me and you know what they say " the one who makes you laugh will do anything to see you smile" and i want that to be us for eachother. Did I ever tell you that you g

I'm coming for you. I am upset because I was counting on you to come to me. I see you over there being happier. I will step back if you dont want me. I am hoping that you do not ask that, but instead ask me to join you.I can't tell which way the tide is going to go in this connection. I know the way I have behaved in the past has shown me to be untrue, but can I just say give me a chance to prove that isnt me anymore? I won't let you be hurt by my pain anymore. I underestimated your intelligence and your need for knowledge and your connection to the divine that superseceds it all. Right now I am gearing up to kiss your ass literally and figuritively to pay you back for my ill will and false behavior. I promise I wont be fake about what I want out of this connection. I am having faith that I can have trust in you. I know deep in my soul that I want you to be mine. I want to help you raise kids whether that is mine, yours or ours i just want t ablood line legacy with yo